• Don't give out personal information. This includes phone numbers and addresses and other identifying information.
• Be careful what pictures you post of yourself.
• Create secure passwords and don't tell them to anyone.
• Don’t believe everything you see online. That 15-year-old girl might be a 50 year-old man.
• Be polite to others online.
• Don't talk to strangers.
• Don't respond to any requests to meet with people.  If you have a job interview, make sure that you are going to a reputable company.  If in doubt, check with parents or the school.

What should you do if someone you know is posting something inappropriate about you on the web? Note: This advice refers to posts where you know the person well and feel that the situation can be turned around with some help. For posts by someone you don't know or pose some danger, please see below, under Other Advice.

Even if it is mild, it is still a form of cyberbullying, and it's still hurtful. It's always a shame when someone resorts to publicly posting negative remarks.

I wouldn't delete the account where posts appear. It's better to still have access because...

You have control over what is posted on your own pictures and can delete anyone's comments on them or delete the picture and comments.

If someone other than you has posted the picture, you can ask them to delete the comments.

If the bully owns the pictures, this is a bit tougher, and I'll offer a few suggestions...

You and a mutual friend (someone neutral) could meet with her and ask her to please remove the comments.  The 'mutual' friend could remind her that she's a good person and she doesn't want others to think badly of her or talk about her. Or you could leave it to the mutual friend to have this conversation alone.  The mutual friend can validate that you feel hurt. You can also remind her that she probably doesn’t want people to think she is mean, especially since many people may be able to see what she has posted.

2. IF both of you are students at the same school

You can ask one of our Principals or me or anyone you trust to help mediate, by meeting with both of you and discussing the implications of a public feud. These are: it reflects badly on her when she posts things that even give the appearance of something not right (even if people don't understand), it is not productive for repairing relationships or for other friendships (people might be afraid to share too much with her if she acts that way) and from a practical point of view, if she doesn't remove the comments, she could be reported (that's another reason why the account shouldn't be deleted) and Facebook could limit the bully's account. If you are uncomfortable, you can also ask the Principal to speak to the bully alone.

3. IF she or he is NOT a Student at your school

Trickier. Perhaps an adult that is important to both parties can take on the role, above. This could be someone from Elementary school (if you went to the same school), youth leader, or even a parent (if they can keep emotionally even - friendships can affect parents too!). It's better coming from someone who has a connection to the bully and she would perceive as genuinely caring about her.

Worst case scenario, you could click report beside one of the comments. I think when you report something, you get the opportunity to type in an explanation. I wouldn't exaggerate but say that the person has been asked politely to take down some comments or pictures and has refused, and the comments are hurtful and may open your friend up to more harassment. This should be a last resort.

• Ask for HELP from a trusted adult!
• If someone treats you rudely or meanly the best bet is not to respond.
  Bullies like to make you upset or angry. Don't give them the satisfaction.   
• Do not reply to any of the posts, emails, messages or calls. Take 5.  Try to calm down. Do not reply! If you respond, the bully may turn around and use YOUR message as proof of you sending inappropriate messages and claim that you are bullying him or her. Be careful what you write. Better yet, don't respond. 
• Block the bully from your accounts and change your privacy settings.
• Do not erase or delete messages. You don't have to read it but keep it as evidence.
  Also save information on web addresses (urls), site names or groups, nicknames of the person posting, any listed email, dates that the message was sent. If possible, take a screenshot by pressing the PrtScn screen at the top of the keyboard, then opening MS Word or Paint and pasting in te image.  People are not as anonymous as they think and if you save this information they can be traced.
• Trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, makes you uncomfortable or even scares you,
  turn off the email program or the website and consult an adult.
• If someone has acted in an aggressive or hurtful manner, speak to a trusted adult. 
• If you are locked out of an account because someone has your password, report it to the site. 
• You may need to create a new account and let people know what is happening.

Sometimes someone who has received a hurtful message may feel guilty in being unable to stop the bullying, or fearful that it may become worse if they tell someone, or that an adult could take away their phone or computer.

But we are on your side and there are a variety of things that can actually be done, including tracking down where the posts are coming from, having Facebook or other sites shutting down a group,  etc.  However sometimes it is very difficult to deal with this on your own. 

You are not to blame for someone else's lack of control or bad behaviour - and statistics are quite high for teenage bullying, so you are definitely not alone. There are some very mean or very unhappy people in the world. There are also people who don't think before they act and even though they are your friend and think that it's a good joke, sometimes what they do can have unintended consequences.

Try to stay positive.  You might be feeling scared, frustrated and helpless, but remember that you have very good qualities. Practice being confident and saying "I don't deserve to be talked to in this way." Get your friends to help you role play so that you can project that confidence.

• Say out loud that what you see happening is not nice.  Speak up! Support the person.
  If the person knows that they are supported, they will be able to deal with the bullying more easily,
• Report what you see to a trusted adult. You can ask for confidentiality, if you are more comfortable.
• Under no circumstances forward any emails or messages on computer or phone that are mean or may hurt someone, however you can save the message to show to the adult you consult.
• Don't add to the problem. If someone encourages you to post something hurtful or agree with such a mean post, don't.  Always take the high road and act with chessed.
• Don't try to get revenge on the bully by posting your own negative comments. It won't help and may make things worse. It may also get YOU in trouble with the school and the law.
  
• Help the person who is being bullied by giving them confidence. Remind them of their strengths. Get them to use strong statements, such as, "I don't deserve to be talked to this way."

Why did I do that? What did I get out of it?

Is there a better way?

Am I acting respectfully to others? Could I be hurting someone else?

How would I judge someone else who did this to me or my friends?